Life's like a rainbow.
Thank you.
nag a thief filling.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009, 2:39 AM
i dont know why i'm feeling this way recently. cannot be pms, too soon. i keep having all the negative thoughts and keep having all these random questions to myself lately. like who am i to them? do they treat all their friends like this? have you guys wondered of all these before? i'm sure you do. it's the last week of holidays and suddenly, everything's moving so fast. i thought of graduation and this last sem that i have to face. how am i going to pull through. what if my results aren't good enough. what am i going to do after this. all coming at one go. how's fyp2 gonna be like. 4th batch of prawns, please pull through. i'm sick and tired of pulling out dead prawns. trainings, trainings and more trainings. 8 rounds in 16 minutes. how am i gonna do it? no mental strength = no physical strength. coming back from an injury suck big time. because you have to build them up all over again. expectations will still remain the same but performance can never be up there anymore. it sucks. sometimes, i feel like working now. so that i can have extra money for myself. its not that its not enough but... anyway, i asked a stupid question on monday. i just felt like asking for assurance, random feeling. but i guess it was a mistake asking. no, i'm not doubting, i just feel insecure. i feel lost. like i'm gonna lose every single thing in my life. and school's starting soon. i wonder if i have time for myself or others. i need to train my body clock to wake up early. damn. you know sometimes i feel like shutting myself up from everybody, everything. i dont know why. its like everything's going down. there's some unfinish business. i want to make it happen soon. but when? its taking too long. and why cant i be treated like the rest. what's so different about me? fake smiles fake smiles fake smiles. i want our time. when? i feel like changing. but to who? shit. damn.